I Don’t Know What I Mean To You

This. All of this.

Thought Catalog

I have been feeling guilty about wanting to stop seeing my therapist. While discussing this, she asked me if I am very concerned with how I affect other people. Strangely, this innocuous little question sent me reeling.

My first reaction was ,“No, that doesn’t resonate with me at all.”

We both paused, waiting for me to continue.

Magically, in the best way therapy can, this opened up a new avenue into my psyche, one I would not have discovered on my own. I proceeded slowly at first.

“I think…that I…am more concerned with how others affect me.” But that didn’t sound right. Did that mean I am completely self-absorbed? Goddess forbid! I wanted to find a shred of evidence that I did care how I affect others.

When I couldn’t immediately find any, I defensively declared that it is useless to be concerned about that because it would just guessing…

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