A while ago, you asked me about what kept me going. You wanted to know what motivated me to do it. I didn’t have an answer then because at the time, I didn’t have anything. I was barely hanging on. Going through the days wearing interchangeable masks that hid what I was really feeling. For a while I was just passing through life without really experiencing the things that were going on around me.
Then you came into my world.
You painted over my gray skies and added a drop of color to my colorless days. I needed you.
You brought out things in me that I didn’t even know I possessed. You made me aware of the stars my mind housed. Constellations coexisted with butterflies as I tried to make sense of the new feelings I felt.
“You can do it. You know you can. I know you can.”
I never got the chance to tell you but you were my reason. The reason I didn’t give up on those nights when pills seemed more desirable than writing. When life became too much to bear, you were my calm.
I know it’s too late now cause you’re gone but I hope this letter is able to serve its purpose and give me some kind of peace.