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I’ve been thinking about love a lot lately (as I do, all the time) and I started to think, what do you do when the person you want, doesn’t want you back? If you’re an extremely emotional person like I am, this experience is enough to send you into full depression mode. I’m talking about crying all night, binging on ice cream and watching Lifetime movies while I wallow in my pain. Okay, maybe that’s a bit much but you get the idea. Unrequited love is something that has the possibility to ruin even the strongest of women.
You fit together so perfectly and everyone around you can see it; everyone but them. It doesn’t make sense to you because everything seems to align for the two of you and there seems to be no plausible reason for you not to be together. They make you laugh. Really laugh. Not the kind of laughter that’s forced just because you like them. You genuinely laugh because you think they’re funny. Your hand fits firmly into theirs and your body melts into their chest when you hug them. You start to wonder if God had you in mind when He was forming them in their mother’s womb. They look into your eyes as if they were the only pair of eyes in the room… in the world. You tell them how you pray for them at night but you wonder if they know that you really pray FOR them at night.
You have this rosy picture in your mind of how great life would be if the two of you were together and it all comes crashing down when they tell you that they’re interested in someone…someone who is not you.
*cue sad violin solo*
What do you do now?
The younger more immature me would have told you to pack your bags and move out of the country because your life is over. I’ve matured since then (thank goodness).
I could tell you to not let it affect you too much and that you should do your best to forget about that person but the truth is it’s never that easy. It’s never easy to move on from rejection when it’s someone you really cared about. This person has been the object of your affection and is now crushing your poor, little heart.
I’m far from an expert when it comes to love and matters of the heart but I’ve had my share of love lost and heartbreak.
So how did I get over it?
I had to come to the realization that not everyone you like, love or want is going to like, love or want you back. That’s just life. It sounds harsh but that’s just how it is.
When dealing with a broken heart, we tend to look at life through different lenses. Everything seems definite.
“I’ll never get over them!”
“I’ll never be able to move on!”
“My life is over!”
As hard as it may be, you have to pull yourself out of this funk and realize that life goes on! Just think about it, before you met this person, you were living life just fine. So, why can’t life go back to being ‘just fine’ or better?
Love is something that’s meant to be shared. If it’s one sided, it’s probably not meant to be.
If you find yourself continuously going the extra mile for this person with no reciprocal effort or feeling over exerted, trying to please them, chances are this person isn’t the one for you.
Do you catch my drift yet?
When feelings are placed on the spectrum, it should not be lopsided. Love, like or wanting, should be mutual.
I know this is super cliche but you really do deserve better!
You deserve someone who will see you and see a future. You deserve a love that adds color to your life. You deserve someone who’s as crazy about you as you are about them.
The next time you find yourself pining over someone who doesn’t want you, take a step back and remind yourself that this person isn’t a horrible person! Your life isn’t over and it’s okay.
It may not seem like it in the midst of this flurry of emotions but you will move on from this and will realize just how much of an awesome person you are.
Keep kicking, lovers!